Bringing a new dog into your life is exciting and an overall joyous event! But as the stars sparkle in your eyes and your house fills with new dog beds, toys, and treats, you also need to consider the long-term experience of living with a dog. As a dog parent, you’re in charge of creating the future you want.
Your new dog, wherever he comes from, has previous experience on board along with his genetics. It’s ideal to understand how dogs learn. Even if you are adopting a puppy, that baby has learned some things before he came to you. If you’re bringing in an adult dog, whether from a shelter or rescue group, a dog who was previously in training for some specific task, or a retired show dog, he has a significant history of learned behaviors.
Dog Parents Teach
The behaviors your dog brings with him may or may not be ones that you like. They may or may not fit well into your lifestyle. You’ll need to learn about your new dog and teach him about your home, family, and routines.
Dogs are learning all the time. They constantly examine the pieces of their environment and determine how to make things work. They have needs and desires and fulfilling them is their #1 goal.
Dog parents are teaching all the time! When you enter a room, you become part of that environment that your dog is examining to see which parts have meaning to him. You are likely talking to your dog and interacting with him a lot. The sounds and movements you make are changes in the environment that your dog will be considering in terms of their importance in fulfilling his needs and desires.
Dogs are Learning All the Time
Your new dog will be questioning a lot of things about you! “When that lady makes that high-pitched sound, murmuring baby talk as she bends over and reaches out to me, does that mean she wants to play with me? Or does she want to pet and cuddle me? Is it feeding time? Why is she holding that cool toy while yelling and waving her arms around?”
What Makes a Good Dog Parent?
I offer the following characteristics that I have found helpful in my own life with dogs and prominent in other dog parents I’ve met. They are not simply “ways of being” that are mysteriously present in “some people.” You can choose and learn these ways of behaving.
Just like dogs, you are also learning all the time. Embrace it. It will help you welcome your new dog and your relationship grow throughout his life. I hope this exploration of seven characteristics of a great dog parent is helpful!
7 Characteristics of a Great Dog Parent
- The number one sign that someone might be successful at raising a dog in their home, ensuring the well-being of everyone involved, is a growth mindset. That means a mindset of recognizing that change is omnipresent and essential. A fixed mindset, believing that status quo is best and achievable, is a path to failure. Assume that things will change when you’re bringing a puppy or dog into your home – LOTS of things. Puppies, of course, will mature. We want fearful dogs to become more confident, and that’s a belief in the power of change. We will need to change, ourselves, to create the required changes in a dog’s behavior as life moves forward, so belief in the possibility of change is key.
- People who are prepared to do the work required to make the changes they desire will be more successful with their dogs. Your input is required to make changes in the desired direction. A quick glance at social media shows that many people believe the behaviors they don’t like in their pets will simply “go away” with time, maturity, and love. While maturing does play a role in the development of dog behaviors, it’s also true that puppies and dogs get better at whatever they are practicing. Yes, puppies might become less interested in chewing at the level they do at 10 weeks of age, but if they are learning to chew the wooden legs of your furniture at this age, they may enjoy it and continually add it to their repertoire of behavior choices for later. Behaviors may change with time, but what you do with that time is key. Make sure you’re helping your dog build the behaviors you want to see more of. This requires prevention of some behaviors through the use of barriers, leashes, confinement areas, and providing exercise and mental stimulation in ways that you can approve, and that takes effort. It also takes work to give your puppy or dog everything he needs, including approved activities. You don’t want him to make up his own entertainment in ways that don’t work for you.
- Humility is a key feature in the dog owners I’ve met who are successful. I’ve been studying dog behavior for decades, participate in continuing education every year, and go beyond that by training with experts who are more experienced than I am. Even though I have a master’s degree in behavior, I don’t think I know everything and I don’t blame dogs when I don’t achieve my training goals. We humans are responsible for getting better at training. Dogs are not responsible for not learning. I even hear people say that “positive reinforcement training doesn’t work” when they fail to get the behavior they want from a dog. Folks, dog training is hard! If it wasn’t, everyone’s dog would be perfectly behaved. You can learn and get better, using that growth mindset I mentioned before. Recognizing your responsibility to do so is key.
- People who are willing to take complete responsibility for another being will succeed. Dogs don’t grow up and become responsible for their own lives like children do. They need care and guidance throughout their lives. Lassie was not real and dogs can’t be left to their own devices to take care of you – you must take care of them. Dogs don’t seem to care about tomorrow and will take incredible risks to their lives, probably because they don’t know how deep the water is, how far it is to shore, or that a car can smash them. We humans don’t want our dogs to be injured or die, so we must protect them. Dogs can be trained to do amazing things, but they don’t learn these by accident. You will be responsible for your dog for his entire life.
- Taking responsibility includes hiring the right professionals to help. You have the choice for veterinarians, trainers, and groomers. Educating yourself about the all-encompassing process of your dog’s learning will help you understand that every encounter with anybody affects him. Go to the trouble to learn to read your dog’s body language, indicating how he feels about whatever is going on. During a visit to your veterinarian, is your dog relaxed and happy? Is the veterinary staff holding him down or giving him treats? One is terrifying and the other can help him have a good experience, and his body language will tell you (but it’s pretty clear even without your dog’s indications.) Perform the required due diligence and hire professionals that help you and your dog, long-term.
- People who are communicative and willing to advocate for their dogs will more easily create a wonderful life for their dogs and themselves. Again, education about your dog’s body language to help understand his responses to different events is key. But the next step is replying, “No” to someone asking to pet your dog when it’s clear your dog is not interested in interacting. Those who can step forward and ask their groomer or veterinarian to pause and re-group when they see that their dogs are not in a good situation are those who can prevent their dogs from developing fear, anxiety, and stress around visits to these professionals. Vets and groomers will also benefit from the input, as your dog will be better behaved with each visit. Advocating for your dog’s well-being helps everyone who comes into contact with your dog.
- Those willing to change their homes and lifestyles will be most successful in creating a wonderful life with a dog. Advocating for your dog includes being willing to make changes within your home to accommodate an individual of a different species than yourself. Sure, you can train your dog over time to lie quietly on the couch with you and your guests, but that may not be the case in the beginning. I’ve talked to many people who are reluctant to put up baby gates because they don’t look nice, or fit easily into their home’s layout. If that’s the case for you, make it a priority to spend the time and effort to train your dog, possibly with the help of a qualified professional, to be able to fit into the nuances of your lifestyle. That way, the baby gates and other management techniques may be temporary. Those who can think through the behaviors they want dogs to use regularly and make plans to teach dogs what to do are more likely to reap the benefits of a joyous partnership with a dog they enjoy being with.
Dog Parents Create the Future
Respond to your dog’s behavior in ways he can understand. Systematically create a harmonious partnership with him. A good dog parent needs to understand they are always creating the future. Make each decision about how you respond to your dog with the knowledge that you are always teaching, your dog is always learning, and significant impacts are possible with each interaction. Make those impacts in favor of a wonderful future with your dog!
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